Painted in a corner

Have you ever painted yourself into a corner? I have..........not literally, but figuratively. You're working toward a goal, trying to accomplish something, and suddenly you look up only to discover your trapped. You can't move, you have no where to go. If you go in any direction before the paint/stain dries, you'll ruin all the hard work you just did. It's an oppressive feeling, being trapped with no where to turn, no way out, no possible escape. Have you ever seen the look in the eyes of an animal about to be trapped? There is a frantic, panic-stricken realization that no matter which way they go, they are doomed. And it is followed by a look of helplessness and hopelessness. The grim reality of the situation seizes them and they give up. I wonder how Joseph felt when his brothers threw him into the cistern. Did he think he was doomed to die there? Did he wonder what they might do to him next? Did he look for a way out, clawing desperately at the dirt wall surrounding him, searching for any twig, root, or possible other item to get hold of and pull himself to freedom? Or did he just look up to heaven and ask God to deliver him?

I am in a corner, pinned against a wall. I am trapped by the circumstances of my past choices. There is no way out, I have no way of escape that I can see. The giants are surrounding me, threatening to overcome me any moment. I have pursued all the options I know to take. Every turn brings a few answers, but always, along with those, many more questions. I don't know which way to go, I don't even know if there is a way to go. I'm trapped, and I feel the net coming down around me. I have hope, but it seems ever so fleeting.

God promises to always provide a way out in every trial, but what about the trials I bring upon myself. Does that promise still apply? How do I find the way? When prayers seem so empty and God seems so distant. How do I know what to do? I feel lost and alone, and stuck in my corner. I keep looking up, but I don't see any rescue. God help me.............I can't do this on my own. My life is a carnage of trying to do it my way. I'm tired, and scared and so uncertain...........Is there a way out of this pit? Have I thrown my future away? I'm done God.............so done.................lift me out of this hole; take my hand and lead me.